Yasmin
27 September 2025
When we feel safe, both physically (there is no threat of physical danger) and emotionally (we trust the people around us and feel validated and respected ) we then feel safe. When we feel safe we experience what is known as “felt safety”. And when we experience felt safety our body is in a regulated state.
When we are in a regulated state, we are relaxed and it means the rational part of our brain has kicked in. This means we can share, socialise and experience joy.
For educators it means we can teach, learn, and build relationships with our students and peers.
It is expected for us to move between different states as we react to different stimuli experienced during the school day. The problems arise when we continuously become dysregulated and dont have the time or awareness to “bounce back” into a regulated state. Sometimes we can end up getting stuck in a dysregulated state, or our tolerance level becomes squashed.
Our bandwidth for experiencing a regulated state can be thought of as our window of tolerance. Some people at different times in their lives have a wide window of tolerance— meaning they can experience most stressors without triggering a stress reaction (dysregulated state).
Through self-awareness about stress activation in our bodies and employing specific tools and practices, we have the ability to recover from these stress reactions and return to a regulated state.
Regulation is the foundation of teaching and learning. A regulated teacher is the foundation of academic, social, and emotional growth in the classroom.
I hear alot about being “self-regulated” … the thing is we are not born knowing these skills of regulation. If we are fortunate we learn about regulation primarily from our caregivers. Through the connections we make in early childhood. I didn’t know about the basics of how to regulate until I was in my early forties … as no one taught me. We can’t expect people to regulate … if they don’t know how.
Our resources, tools and programs all work towards sharing knowledge on “how to regulate” and move away from diagnosing disorders for everything.
Driven to improve the emotional wellbeing of young people, adults, and parents, Yasmin Shaheen-Zaffar is the founder and creator of Polyvagal Teen®. She also developed The R.U.D Process® – a practical, step-by-step approach that helps teens and adults recognise and manage stress and anxiety by becoming Polyvagal Aware.
In addition, Yasmin leads several social-impact initiatives that promote steady, consent-based communication and co-regulation:
Glad We Talked® programmes
Neurosloth® Academy
Talky Talk Cards
Scribbledeedo®
World Stop Shouting Day – a campaign to reduce conflict and aggression in everyday interactions
Alongside this work, Yasmin runs a small private counselling practice in North Yorkshire and online, specialising in emotional regulation and working with neurodivergent, multi-faith, and mixed-heritage clients.
